


fairy godmothers just ain’t what they used to be

by ornategrip



Category: Grimm (TV)
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-01-14
Updated: 2012-01-14
Packaged: 2017-10-29 11:59:34
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,185
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/319661
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ornategrip/pseuds/ornategrip
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Monroe's fairy godmother stops by for a visit.</p>
            </blockquote>





	fairy godmothers just ain’t what they used to be

**Author's Note:**

> For this [prompt](http://grimm-kink.livejournal.com/452.html?thread=31172#t31172) on the grimm kink meme.

Not everybody had a fairy godmother. And really, she wasn’t his _fairy godmother_ , she was a fairy, who happened to be his godmother.

See the difference? She and his mom went way back, went to high school together or something, Monroe usually tuned out around then. Long story short, Aunt Clotilda was a card-carrying fairy in the strictest of terms and she was his godmother.

She was also kind of a drunk, which explained why she was cavorting wildly about his living room, knocking his precious clocks about while she warbled something about true love at him. He wanted to pay attention, really he did, but her stench was overwhelming; an unholy mixture of sugarplums, fairy dust, vodka and dear lord, was that turpentine?

Aunt Clotilda had fallen off the wagon but good.

Thanks, mom, Monroe thought sourly, wishing for the hundredth time he had done the smart thing and gotten a PO box instead of giving his parents his home address. His mom armed with his address meant he had visits like this, drunken family friends bringing chaos in their wake.

“You need to get laid!” Aunt Clotilda crowed, interrupting Monroe’s well deserved self-pity. She flung her arms out, one hand smacking his grandfather clock hard enough to make it wobble. Monroe had to leap forward to catch it before it tumbled and he fussed with it as he straightened it up. It was a very important piece to him, okay? He had to make sure it was perfect.

And that was why he didn’t notice that crazy drunk Aunt Clotilda had pulled her wand out. Not until he turned around and it was far too late to do anything. A drunk fairy behind a wand was as bad as a drunk person behind a wheel of a car. There were educational posters warning about this type of thing.

Before he could do so much as shout, she waved it and then there was smoke and bright lights and Nick.

Nick, standing in the middle of his living room, completely naked, dripping wet and hands above his head where he had apparently been shampooing his hair. Monroe gaped. Nick blinked. Aunt Clotilda clapped in glee.

“Oh, he’s a nice one, Monroe!” she exclaimed as Nick turned a blank stare at the both of them. “He’s got a great ass. Good job.” The last was aimed at Nick and as Nick continued to goggle at them, she leered. “Nice-sized dick, too.”

Oh my god.

Monroe darted to his kitchen, grabbed a clean kitchen towel and came right back out to hand it to Nick as fast as he could. The other man took it quickly and it- well, actually it didn’t do much but at least now his junk was covered. Aunt Clotilda looked disappointed. Secretly, Monroe was too but he wasn’t about to admit it.

A long awkward silence ensued.

“Soooo.” Nick chuffed out a breath. “Anybody want to explain this to me?”

“Drunk fairy godmother.”  
“True love’s wild fuck party!”

It shouldn’t have been possible for someone as diminutive as Aunt Clotilda to own a set lungs that could drown out Monroe’s but then again, someone as diminutive as Aunt Clotilda shouldn’t be able to drink turpentine without dying a horrible death.

Nick was staring at Aunt Clotilda with the same kind of horror Monroe imagined was on his own face.

“What?”

She tottered forward causing Nick to rear back but fortunately all she did was cup a hand to her mouth and whisper very loudly,

“Monroe needs to get laid.”

She made a hole with the fingers of one hand then moved her other finger in and out of it. Nick shot Monroe a look that was a strange mixture of amusement and consternation.

“Okay,” he said slowly, in the tones of someone realizing they were dealing with grade A crazy, “What does that have to do with me?”

“You’re the one who’s going to fuck him. Or he’s gonna fuck you, not too sure. Don’t really care, sweet cheeks. Just get it done.”

She was still moving her finger in and out of the hole of her fingers. It was almost hypnotic at this point. Nick looked confused.

“Why me?”

“You’re who the spell summoned.”

Nick shot him an incredulous stare and Monroe felt his face heat up.

“He told you to summon me?”

She finally stopped the finger thing to move her hands to her hips, shaking her head in exasperation.

“No!” she exclaimed, peevishly. “Monroe wants to fuck you!”

Monroe wanted to die.

“Oh yes,” Aunt Clotilda went blithely on, drunkenly oblivious that she was ruining Monroe’s life. “That’s how my spell works. It seeks out a person’s one true love.” She hiccupped. “Or at least the person they most want to give a good rogering!”

She dissolved into raucous laughter, nearly falling over in perverse glee, slapping at her knees and thighs. Nick was giving Monroe a look that Monroe was carefully avoiding. He did not want to know how Nick felt about all this.

Aunt Clotilda finally stopped laughing, staggering over to Monroe and fluttering up to drape an arm over his shoulder. She patted his cheek with her other hand.

“You enjoy yourself, dear boy. Let the wolf out to play, hmmm?”

And then she was gone, leaving smoke and glitter all over the place. Also Nick, still naked except for the small towel cupped protectively over his groin. Behind Monroe, the grandfather clock ticked loudly as if mocking him.

“Well,” Nick finally offered in the silence, “I kind of feel horribly betrayed by Disney.”

“At least she isn’t your godmother.” Monroe muttered, still refusing to look in Nick’s general direction. He could smell him though, water and soap and just Nick underneath it all. Hear him too, shuffling awkwardly in the middle of his living room like he wanted to run away. Monroe didn’t blame him.

“I’ll get you some clothes, okay? Then I’ll take you home.”

He skirted around Nick as best he could, almost past him before Nick’s hand shot out and grabbed his wrist.

Startled, he looked up to find Nick staring at him with an indecipherable look on his face. And then Nick smiled.

“Ah, look, I still have shampoo in my hair, is it cool if I use your shower?”

He said yes without thinking, surprised that Nick wanted to prolong this visit even for that. Monroe would have thought he’d want to get out of here as fast as he could.

“Yeah, sure. It’s upstairs, first door on the left.”

Nick nodded, still smiling and walked to the staircase. The towel didn’t cover his ass and Monroe couldn’t help but stare. Aunt Clotilda was right; it was a great ass. It was only when that ass paused at the foot of the stairs that he managed to drag his gaze up. Nick was giving him a look over his shoulder.

“Well?” Nick asked mildly, “Aren’t you going to join me?”

And then, while Monroe gaped, he dropped the towel and went up the stairs.

Monroe was right behind him.


End file.
